


Losing It

by alistaircousland



Series: Don't I Always? [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mentions of Violence, mentions of police brutality, taking care, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24508060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistaircousland/pseuds/alistaircousland
Summary: “Sebastian? What is this?” Sebastian was on his knees on the floor, still using his work shirt, although the first two buttons were undone and his legs were only covered by his boxer briefs.Usually, Kurt would be the one in that position. Kneeling on the floor, hands splayed over his thighs, head bowed. Although both men agreed that they’re switches, more often than not Kurt would be in Sebastian’s mercy.Apparently, not this time.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Don't I Always? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1405486
Kudos: 24





	Losing It

“Honey, I’m home!” Kurt shouted as he removed all of his clothing to the hamper next to the front door. “I got us some Chinese too!” 

When he didn’t get an answer, Kurt tried to call his boyfriend again. “Sebastian?”

Still no answer. Clad in his underwear, he entered the bedroom to get clean clothes and then shower. What greeted him was a sight he thought he’d never see. 

“Sebastian? What is this?” Sebastian was on his knees on the floor, still using his work shirt, although the first two buttons were undone and his legs were only covered by his boxer briefs. 

Usually, Kurt would be the one in that position. Kneeling on the floor, hands splayed over his thighs, head bowed. Although both men agreed that they’re switches, more often than not Kurt would be in Sebastian’s mercy. 

Apparently, not this time. 

Kurt approached Sebastian slowly, stopping only a step away from the kneeling man. “Look at me,” he ordered. Sebastian raised his head slowly, blinking a few times as his tired eyes met Kurt’s. 

“What do you need, Sebastian?” Kurt asked, cupping Sebastian’s face with both of his hands. 

“I…” A waft of cigarette smell. Not good. 

“Have you been smoking again?” Kurt asked, again, softer this time. 

Sebastian nodded, or tried to, with Kurt’s hands strongly covering his face. 

“Didn’t you promise me that you’ll stop?” Kurt caressed the younger man’s cheeks. At this angle, Sebastian did look younger. The lawyer tends to have a weary face compared to the designer, especially since he’s determined to be the one of the rare Smythes to be a litigation lawyer.

“I… I’m sorry.” Sebastian closed his eyes. “I just… I had a bad day of work.” He took a deep breath. “And I… you’re not here… I can’t handle it. I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry…?” Kurt repeated Sebastian’s last words. 

“I’m sorry… sir?” Sebastian bowed his head again. “I’m sorry.” 

Kurt kneeled in front of Sebastian and took him in his arms. “It’s okay. I’m here now. What do you need?” 

Sebastian was silent for a while as he comfied himself in the crevice between Kurt’s neck and shoulder. Kurt didn’t try to nag him either, just combing Sebastian’s hair slowly with his fingers. 

“Take care of me, please.” Sebastian mumbled against Kurt’s skin. “Please, just… I need to be taken care of.”

Kurt kissed Sebastian’s temple. “Okay. Get naked and go on the bed, stomach down.” 

Sebastian obeyed without further words. He removed the rest of his shirt’s buttons quickly and took off his underwear before slowly crawling on the bed, putting his body the way his boyfriend ordered him to. 

The lawyer stayed in that position in what felt like a long time. His mind, the one that got him in this place, was going haywire. Did Kurt leave the room? 

Kurt was fetching several things from the bathroom. Namely, a bottle of baby oil, a tube of strawberry-flavored lube, and a couple of towels. “Baby, stay put, okay. I’m here.” 

Sebastian was ready to burst into tears when he heard Kurt’s voice. He was so scared that Kurt would leave, that he made an embarrassment of himself, left bare on the bed on his own, alone. 

“Oh god, you're really not okay.” Kurt kissed the back of Sebastian’s head. “I will massage you while you tell me everything that happened, okay?” He whispered against Sebastian’s hair, hoping the taller man would hear him clearly. When he felt a nod, Kurt kissed Sebastian’s hair again and proceeded to lather his hand with baby oil and massage Sebastian’s shoulder.

“You can speak now, Sebastian.” 

Kurt could hear Sebastian gulping. “It’s just. Uh. An old client wants us to take care of his wife’s inheritance issues.” 

“Isn’t that normal?”

“The said wife had died of Covid.” 

“Oh… when?” 

“Ah--” Sebastian moaned when Kurt hit that knot in the crevice of his neck. “Like, a week ago?” Sebastian groaned again when Kurt hit another spot. “It’s just… that… disease. Is real. You know?” 

Sebastian gulped before continuing. “And I’m a bit bothered by the fact that… They’re already arguing about inheritance.” 

“Maybe that’s their way to grief?” Kurt offered.

“Maybe.” Sebastian burrowed his head deeper into his pillow. “But it’s… kind of. Disturbing me. She was still around a few days ago, and now you want to talk about assets?” 

“I see. But is it all?” Kurt moved to Sebastian’s lower back, massaging his waist. Sebastian’s groans were all Kurt needed to make sure he was doing well. Kurt couldn’t help but chuckling; even with Sebastian submitting to him, he was still concerned with serving Sebastian.

“No. I… Well, I convinced Uncle Charles so our firm will take pro bono cases.” Sebastian moved his head to the side, so that he could see Kurt, even from his peripheral vision. “I wanted to help.” 

“Help with?” Kurt bent forward to kiss Sebastian’s cheek. The younger man smiled and raised his head a bit, trying to catch Kurt’s lips. 

“You know. The riots out there.” Sebastian plopped his head down on the bed. “I let people know that our firm is willing to take in their cases. People who are detained without proper legal procedure, bail, all of that. Victims of police brutality.” 

“I see. That’s a really noble thing to do, you know.” Kurt’s hands finally arrived on Sebastian’s buttcheeks. He lathered them in baby oil and massaged the globes. Occasionally, he would bend down to give butterfly kisses that made Sebastian whimper. 

“Maybe. But I didn’t account for the mental burden it would give me. Or us, I guess. The litigation team is all exhausted.” Sebastian said between whimpers. “There was one woman. She’s a little older than us, but she has lost literally everything. Her brothers, her parents. Her children. Her husband is detained for apparently ‘assaulting a police officer’. She said he was just pulling out his phone.” 

Sebastian gulped. “May I roll over, Sir?” 

“You may.” Kurt said, scooting back as to give Sebastian space to roll on his back. He straddled Sebastian’s lap, both to give him better access to massage Sebastian’s chest and also to tease the man beneath him. Sebastian chuckled, acknowledging his boyfriend’s intention. “May I touch you, Sir?” 

Kurt nodded. Sebastian’s hand went to his face, sweeping fringes of Kurt’s hair from his face, and then down to his cheek. “Then there was this boy. I meant a _boy_. He’s like sixteen or seventeen. He didn’t manage to have a graduation this year due to the schools closing, and now he’s being detained for apparently inciting riot. He was only telling the police officers that he just wanted a proper, equal life. They put him face down and dragged him to the station.” 

Sebastian’s hand cupped Kurt’s cheek, probably trying to anchor himself, even when he’s secure under Kurt. “It’s really unfair, Kurt.” His cheeks were damp. His hand traveled down from Kurt’s cheek to his hand, the one on his chest, and squeezed lightly. “They’re just one of us. Why do they get such unfair treatment? What have they done wrong?” 

“Oh, baby.” Kurt wiped the tears off Sebastian’s cheeks. “It’s okay.” 

“I just… remembered what an awful person I was. The fact that they are living day to day in this madness, and then there’s this white guy, privileged as fuck, with all the money they could never think of having, marching around as if he owned the place.” Sebastian blinked his tears away. “I wonder what my clients would think if they knew that their lawyer is an awful person. And weak. And selfish. Oh god. They’re the ones facing injustice and _I’m_ the one here weeping my ass off like a baby.” 

Kurt bent down to kiss Sebastian. “It’s okay to cry, you know? It’s okay to empathize with what they’re going through.” Kurt cupped Sebastian’s face, forcing the younger man to look at him. “If any, that may help you to convince them that they’re in the right hands. You _feel_ their struggle. You may not understand fully, and you may never understand. We may never understand. But we may feel, and what we feel is… this. Sad. Frustrated. And that may help you win their case. This is your way of helping them, and that’s the best you can do.” Kurt kissed Sebastian again, deeper this time, his hands grabbing handfuls of Sebastian’s hair. “It’s human to feel sad about this.” 

Sebastian merely nodded, at a loss of words. “Yeah. I just want to be strong for them. That’s all I can do.” 

“Yes, that’s all you can do. And the fact that you’re helping is already great. Don’t punish yourself for what you can’t control. Your past is in the past and your present is making up more than all the damages you did in the past, okay?” Kurt smiled as he saw Sebastian nodding.

“Would you like me to take care of you better now, baby?” Kurt asked, his lips just a breath away from Sebastian’s. Sebastian nodded, again. 

“Okay.” Kurt kissed him one more time before traveling down through Sebastian’s body.

That night, Sebastian’s moans, whimpers, and cries echoed around the apartment. 

***

When morning arrived, Kurt awoke to a cold bed. He dragged himself to the bathroom to take a quick shower and put some clothes on him--at the third month of quarantine, whatever clothing piece works, it’s just Sebastian that would look at him anyway--before going out of the bedroom. His sight was greeted by Sebastian, already perched on the sofa with his reading glasses on, a pile of documents next to his coffee cup and an open laptop, with soft piano tunes playing in the speaker.

“Good morning.” Kurt said, taking his place next to the lawyer. He took a look at the laptop screen and saw Sebastian’s memorandum draft for, presumably, one of his pro bono clients. 

“Morning.” Sebastian smiled at Kurt, giving him a kiss before looking back to the papers in his hands. 

“Do you mind me going through my designs here?” Kurt waved around the empty coffee table space next to Sebastian’s laptop.

“Of course not.” Sebastian smiled, this time in a ‘ _why would you even ask’_ way, then continued, “I heated last night’s Chinese, your plate is on the counter. If you’d like to eat first.” 

“I would, actually. Thank you, baby.” Kurt squeezed Sebastian’s shoulder before moving to the kitchen to take his plate. “Oh, where’s the [Moka pot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_pot)?” 

“The rack. I cleaned it after I made my cup.” 

As Kurt ate his late breakfast next to Sebastian, the lawyer was involved in several calls (thankfully Kurt was far enough that the camera didn’t catch him). Kurt smiled at his boyfriend taking care of his work, even when Kurt didn’t really understand what was going on. After Sebastian was done dealing with his calls, he diverted his sight to Kurt. “What are you smiling at?”

“You. I’m proud of you, helping the people in need, the best way you can.” Kurt caressed Sebastian’s face as the other guy closed his eyes, enjoying the touch. Then, as he opened his eyes, Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s hand and kissed the back of it, then wrapping it around his own hands. “Thank you for your help last night.”

Kurt scooted closer to kiss Sebastian. “The least I can do.” 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
> 
> 2\. https://weneedtotalkaboutpapua.carrd.co/
> 
> They need our help. #BlackLivesMatter


End file.
